it seems like this is always the state we're in... almost there...
- highschool, all i could think of was graduating... (not to leave, but to finish highschool)... almost there...
- when i got to canada, entered queens... all i could think was: almost there.. just finish first year.. it'll get better...
- second year came around... almost there... stupid concussion.. bad grades.. just finish this year...
- now i'm in third year... all i want is for school to be over... but that's too far to think ahead... so think 'bout summer.. almost there.. that's even too far to think... when will it ever be over? what's it?... i guess school...
granted, i'm only 20.. and that's not that long of a life... but i feel like it's been long enough... saying 'i'm almost there' doesn't even mean anything anymore... 'cuz i'm never gonna 'get there' until i go home to jesus... i can't wait for that day... is it wrong to say i'd like that day to come sooner?... life here on this earth just seems to be too hard... "university doesn't resemble life"... sure.. but it's life for now... "other people have it much worse"... i feel like that's just avoiding the situation... sure, other people have it worse, but still, i don't know how to handle my situation. I believe that God is on the throne... but God i just don't know how to handle this situation you've placed me in
What's enough?
a place in which God is present... where i can love people... where i have the time to love people... where i can be loved by people... knowing and doing what God wants me to do... wherever that may be... the jungles of africa or even toronto (although i'd have trouble with that one) knowing that that's where God wants me to be... and knowing what he wants me to do...
technically, technically, then i should have enough here... i know God wants me to be in kingston... i've made some amazing friends... really felt God's presence here... but i also know that God's placed me in university more so for the experience than the academia... so why the academia?... i hate that the academia and the experience have to go hand in hand... stupid academia... i know it'll be beneficial one day... in ways i won't even know.. but for now... i hate it... seems useless.. feels like i'm gonna forget it anyway...
Monday, March 5, 2007
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2 comments:
the grass is always greener on the other side. or in kingston's case, the ice always glistens more on the other side.
however you gotta keep walkin to get past the ugly mound of poop in front of you .. gotta keep walking to get around to the other side
in the meantime don't forget to take breathers and smell the flowers. 'cause the ones on this side of the hill may not appear later on down the road.
ahah oh dear i'm horrible.
lets just sit together and vegetate, as i've stated before.
If it's one thing i've learned here, it's how to make the best of a bad job. You don't choose the situations you get in. Well, sometimes you do.
But once you're there, there's nothing you can do that will ever change the past. There is no point in dwelling on something that you cannot change, because you cannot change it.
the sooner you act to change the future, the sooner the present will change to be something you want.
Life is enough when you become satisfied in it. When you become grateful for it. Until then, it's never better, and you're just whining :)
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