when i came back from BFA, i realized that missionary kids often have the tendency to be emotionally constipated.. for the reason that showing emotion.. shedding tears... is a sign of weakness.. anger is simply a sin... of all that's expected from missionary kids, said and unsaid, anything REMOTELY unsettling in their lives they perceive as 'wrong'... it's not necessarily wrong... it may be just something you have to get through.. being homesick/sad??... takes to time get over... it's life...
but since then, i've realized that life in Canada is the same way...
it hurts me to see people in such pain, but so unwilling to share with people simply because of these STUPID MISCONCEPTIONS... and if they're willing, there aren't any ears to hear... i know this may be a generally sweeping statement... but i know that if you look around, you'll see this... it's not even biblical to keep your ALL your emotions in... as tabitha grubb said in her tribute to tears:
"I know this numbness all too well as time and time again I have shoved my feelings deep into the dark caverns of my heart. “I must be strong” I say to myself, justifying my emotional repression. In the end it is I who am weak, while those who weep are truly strong. “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted” (Matt). “Blessed are you who weep now for you shall laugh”(Luke)."
i really like her whole article/speech on a tribute to tears... give it a read if you have a second...
Going back to BFA helped me realize how much I had come since highschool... I LOVED who i was in highschool.. I LOVED pretty much everything about highschool.. but I Thank God for the realization that that was then and this is now... seems simple... but much too complex for my simple mind... who i was in highschool was AWESOME for then... i need to be able to say that when i look back on university too though...
THUS:... i need to have more of these moments:
yeah i got schooled.... good timing on matt (the photographer)'s part..
but then i return and conquer =]
love you sarah nazwerijdkfjkovich =].. someday i'll learn your last name!
